The weekly updates turned into monthly summaries and then the monthly summaries disappeared altogether. My interest in chronicling my lessons certainly took a turn for the worse when I lost Murphy, now over two years ago, and then it took a further hit as our instructor Ulrika moved to another stable at the end of last year. She has been such a huge help and such an inspiration these last nine years and it has been very hard to adjust to a new instructor. Or rather, to adjust to her absence. On top of that, life have been a bit rough in general these last two years, so when the riding hasn’t been as relaxing and inspiring as usual it has created a bit of a negative feedback loop.

I’ve kept brief notes each week, just to not lose track of any useful insights, but I am not sure about trying to post anything specific. I might just clean up my notes to post as a reference for myself and to see if it can help me regain my focus if I look at what I’ve been doing since the middle of last Autumn. More generally speaking, I’ve managed to keep riding roughly once a week, though this spring has been particularly tough with various problems preventing me from attending quite a few lessons. I haven’t been able to add on any private lessons either, though I am still hoping to try both a somewhat nearby stable which is all Andalusians and a very nearby stable which is mostly ponies. Fortunately, my regular stable does have quite a few horses I can ride at the moment (including Digression, an actual, full-sized horse that’s won my confidence), so as long as they stay healthy I should be alright there as well.

I do think I need to do something different, however, to get my motivation back. I still love riding and just being in the stable, but I miss having a horse there that I have a really strong connection with. I have been toying with the idea of buying a horse again, especially now that we have a good stable just a few minutes away, but I am hesitant. There’s a lot of things competing for my time right now. If I was better at not getting completely stressed out when things pile up, it might work…but I am not.

I think I’ll see if I can get some extra riding in during the summer or, failing that, I’ll aim for a fresh start this autumn and see about getting some private lessons in then. I’ll also be trying to sort out my back, because I don’t need any physical issues getting in the way.