I haven’t actually missed two weeks of reporting, just one. Last week was theory and I wasn’t able to go then anyway. Unfortunately, I will also be missing next week, which really sucks because its a jumping lesson.
What about the dressage almost two weeks ago, though? Well, my memory is sketchy. ;P Heddvig was still feeling a bit so-so, so Ulrika asked me to make sure I was getting enough forward momentum before I start to ask for collection. Normally the momentum is there, but now I have to readjust for her being a little more laid back. Once we got to the cantering (more counter-canter by way of a curved line along the length of the arena), she did better. Laid back definitely goes out the window once we start cantering. ;) She really struggled with cantering along the whole curve, but mainly it was her giving up when it got a little harder. Once I asked her to keep going, she did pretty well.
I am definitely feeling a lack of motivation, though, and its leaving me a little less focused. I enjoy the riding, but I feel a bit lost. I guess things are much the same as they were before I started riding Murphy; I ride because riding in itself is fun, but I don’t necessarily feel I am accomplishing much or making any tangible progress. I like getting better, but when riding once a week and with my fear issues, I will only get so much better. So, being able to improve a horse and develop alongside of him was a new, fantastic experience. And now that I have done that, going back to “just” riding feels like its lacking something. Then again, can’t rule out that Heddvig won’t keep improving as well—she’s made a lot of progress, as it is—so we’ll see. But right now, I keep looking for something that isn’t there.